Dundee Mama

Hi mamas,

This week marks World Breastfeeding Week, and the slogan this year is “Prioritise Breastfeeding: Create Sustainable Support Systems”. In honour of this, I thought I’d share my breastfeeding journey and hopefully help encourage others to breastfeed and/ or seek support.

Ironically or not, I’m writing this post on my phone while breastfeeding my 4 month old son. And yes, it’s taken multiple sessions across two days to finish it, including left handed one finger typing.

So, let me start at the beginning…

I knew I wanted to breastfeed even before my son was born, there was something magical about it. I had already started following a few consultants’ accounts on social media and decided that to best prepare for the journey of breastfeeding, I need to attend a couple of seminars. Of course nothing can really prepare you for what happens after you give birth, how your body will react or adjust, and how you baby is going to be topside, but a little extra confidence doesn’t hurt. I attended the antenatal classes delivered by the NHS midwives as well as a couple of seminars by the most incredible Bulgarian breastfeeding consultant – Assya Demireva.

For me, the preparation to breastfeed before giving birth also included colostrum harvesting. I didn’t really have any underlying health concerns, and neither did the baby, but as I like to be prepared I thought harvesting some just in case was a good shout. I would be remiss if I didn’t also admit that I harvested the colostrum for my own peace of mind and so that I could see that my body was capable of producing milk. To begin with I would gather enough for a 1ml syringe off of both breasts and towards the end it would be upwards of 5ml per breast. I started colostrum harvesting after week 36 as to not cause overstimulation and trigger the emergency exit for the lil guy. The first few times were difficult because the production was scarce but the more I did it, the better I got and the more I could collect. At one point, I employed the help of my partner, who was tasked with the syringing while I was expressing. It was a beautiful teamwork effort and lovely sight to behold. Plus, it felt exhilarating that my body could do that. All the colostrum was labelled and stored in the freezer in little silicone bottles I purchased off the internet. (Will list my breastfeeding essentials in another post)

which took around 56 hours.

Getting the little guy to latch was a struggle at first. I don’t know if it was because he was high on my painkillers, was traumatised by the coming into the world and needed more time, or my breasts were simply too big for his tiny little mouth, but the latching seemed impossible. The team of nurses tried their best but he was simply not having it and frankly neither was I. Watching him struggle and what appeared to me as being forced on the breast, didn’t work for either of us. So, my partner went home and collected the expressed, frozen colostrum. The little one was given it in a bottle. It was a relief that my son was getting all that goodness even if it wasn’t directly from the source. The days that followed his birth we were in hospital and were still struggling to get him latched. I was offered nipple shields to help but unfortunately they were too small a size. I was also offered a breast pump but the flanges for that were also too small. So, I ended up hand expressing every day, for hours, just so the little one could have some food. It’s worth noting that he did latch in the hospital when I had the shields on, but as they were too small, it was really painful. And if I remember one thing from all the prep I did for breastfeeding it was that “breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful”. I knew that if I persevered through the pain I risk something happening and being unable to feed my son, so I opted out and just hand expressed for the first few days. I remember staying up all night and expressing while watching “Igri na voliata” on my phone. Despite not needing much in terms of millilitres, it took a lot of effort and energy. Frankly, I think I was running on adrenaline the first few days because I can hardly remember sleeping. Somehow the time in the hospital came to an end and we were sent on our merry way home with a newborn.

As soon as we got home, a sense of anxiety hit me and I felt I needed to express right away. I was terrified of not having enough milk or worse causing my milk to stop. I had bought a wireless breast pump, which was a godsend and worked a treat. I had also ordered the correct size of nipple shields so I can try and get him to latch. They were delivered the day after we got home, and I could finally start breastfeeding. These first days between giving birth and properly breastfeeding at home felt like an eternity filled with worry, anxiety and joy all at the same time. I don’t think I was truly aware of the amount of learning both me and the lil guy were going to have to do from the get go. Thankfully there was support available which made this whole process much less stressful. The team of midwives and the Tayside Infant Feeding Team helped us get off to a good start and course correct when needed. Following my intuition and instinct, however, was instrumental in establishing a good latch, a good supply and an awesome bonding time.

I would lie if I was to say I didn’t experience any challenges with breastfeeding, or that I felt great about it all the time. But I would be doing us a disservice even more if I was to not acknowledge how great it has been getting to connect to my son through breastfeeding. Yes, it can be exhausting waking up for the night feeds. And oh lord, I know how lucky we have been as he wasn’t a colicky or refluxy baby. But regardless, this small part of our lives has been magnificent. And what made it even more special was the peer support I experienced through the Breast Buddies Support Group. There’s hardly anything more helpful than other mother’s lived experience.

I remember during his first growth spurt I was waking up every 2 hours to feed him and messaging the group chat checking if this was normal. I remember receiving a message from a mama going through the same. The connection I felt to this beautiful stranger in that moment transcended space and time and I felt we could do it together. That feeling hasn’t changed. To this day, this group chat is a place for comfort, support and uplifting; a place for shared experiences, resources and knowledge; a modern day village, for which I’m so grateful.

We’re now 4 months in…

and I have breastfed my baby at multiple locations across Dundee and the surrounding areas. I hope I get to breastfeed him as long as possible and I’m thankful for getting this far. Breastfeeding him is my calm, my quiet, my experience… and I absolutely love it all. 💙

Here are some of my favourite things about my breastfeeding journey:

• Baby’s tiny hand pushing on my breast as though to squeeze more milk out.
• Seeing his face light up when he sees it’s time for food.
• The sheer excitement trying to latch and the little squeaks he does.
• Baby falling asleep while feeding.
• Seeing him milk drunk.
• Sitting on the rocking chair in the middle of the night, just the two of us.
• His little “oink oink” noises when he first started latching.
• Leaky breasts, stained T-shirts and bras.
• Giving him a milky bath – for a nice and soft skin.
• The ease and stress-free feeding wherever we are.
• Feeling needed all the time.
• Baby’s occasional fight with the breast.

I know this journey is different for all of us. We’re all dealt different cards and for some this journey is more treacherous than for others. I was blessed with a smooth ride this time around and I’m thankful for it. It has thought me to have more grace, consideration and respect for myself and everyone’s experience, especially those who have it tougher. If you’re struggling, need advice, would benefit from an impromptu village or just want company, here are some local resources that could be of service:

• NHS Tayside Infant Feeding Team Facebook Page – great source of information and support. They have a service in Ninewells where you can get help with your breastfeeding after you’ve been discharged from the Midwife services.
• Your Health Visitor – they can direct you towards other provisions that I might miss here.
• Breast Buddies Dundee Facebook Page / Facebook Group – great peer support network. You c a join the Facebook group or ask to be added to the WhatsApp group. They run weekly meet ups where you can meet other mamas, get advice and support.
• Lucy Webber Feeding Support Facebook / Instagram – Great pages to follow. The content she posts is both educational, inspirational and supportive.
• La Leche League Website / Facebook Support Group / Facebook Page– A great website full of resources. There’s also support groups running in Cupar and Perth.
• National Breastfeeding Helpline – 24-hour breastfeeding support via phone or social media. You can call them on 0300 100 0212, or reach out via their Website, Facebook or Instagram.

One thing is for sure, when it comes to feeding your child, a mother will do everything she can to do the best. And that best doesn’t always mean breastfeeding. So, if you’re a mama, who breastfeeds, formula feeds or combo feeds, know you’re doing a great job. ♥️

Happy International Breastfeeding Week!

Until next time, mamas! 💛

P.S. If you’d like to share your story as part of Dundee Mama, please get in touch, we’d love to create the space for you.